Home > Crime, Humor, Laughter, Life, Love, Parenting > The Mother of All Ironies

The Mother of All Ironies

There’s no doubt life is hard and riddled with uncertainty and while I really do try to “take the world on with a smile”, sometimes it takes everything I’ve got.

I live at the beginning of a cul-de-sac, the first of nine homes that make a horseshoe. A few weeks ago my neighbor who lives two houses down on the left came to our door and asked me to step outside for a private conversation. She recently discovered that someone had been trying to break into her house — again. She also informed me that the alarm went off in the home of the family that lives directly across from her the same week. The police responded but found nothing.

Honestly, I can’t say I was surprised. I’ve had a feeling for a while now that something was weird in the neighborhood–again.

My neighbor was visibly upset when delivering this news. Who wouldn’t be? It’s unsettling to say the least, especially, if it’s happened before. If you’ve read my posts: My Edward, Life’s Terms – Not Mine or Everything Must Go, Including Me!, you know that my home was burglarized a year ago this past winter at least eight times that we know of.

She too was repeatedly burglarized during that time and sandwiched in-between our two homes, lives the 21-year old perpetrator.

Similar to the over $10,500 worth of items taken from my house, nearly $13,000 worth of jewelry and cash went missing from her house. Unfortunately, the two detectives assigned to her case were unable to connect the dots to my case and closed hers. Interestingly enough, these are the same two detectives that were convinced my then newly turned 11-year old son was the culprit.

I at least, receive monthly restitution checks from this bad boy living next door. And, in addition to the 6-month house arrest sentence he served (silly really) there is also an order of protection against him for each member of my family, for 5 years. Not that this is remotely comforting, the boy violates this order every day, simply by living next door. Indeed, we share grass.

The story of our burglaries from start to capture and arrest is undoubtedly a fascinating one that I hope to put on paper one day but for now, I’m simply mind–boggled by the twisted sense of humor the universe seems to have and its reluctance to let me, let this craziness go!

Tell me, what do you think the universe is trying to say when I come home with my children after a late dinner out, only to find that my house key, when inserted into the front door lock, goes round and round in an endless loop, prohibiting our entry? This being the new lock we had installed just over a year ago, after break-in number five and the first sign of a violent act in our home.

Seriously, how many times has your dead-bolt failed and what are the chances of something like this, happening to us?

Unfortunately, it was 10:00 pm on a Saturday night and although the locksmith has a 24-hour emergency number, that “mailbox” was full.

The good news is that for the most part, our house is now like Fort Knox. The bad news is that after an hour of brainstorming, trying a variety of things including the unsuccessful removal of a window air-conditioner and a desperate plea from my 10-year old daughter……

“Mom, please, it’s cold out, can’t we knock on their door and ask BBQ to help us?”

…we were literally forced to use one of the same methods my neighbor used, to break into our house.

BBQ is the pet name my kids and I have affectionately given the convicted felon living next door. The first B stands for BAD the second B is the first letter of his first name and the Q is the first letter of his last name, hence, B-B-Q. It’s an attempt to interject levity into an otherwise somber situation. It’s similar to our use of the endearing term we have for the police, which is “po- po, as in,

“Hannah, the “po-po are here to see you again.”

(See 1-9-1-4 for clarification of that reference.)

Anyway, I’ve purposefully tried to defuse the fear my kids have had of BBQ with humor and emphasize instead, just how pathetic he was to steal such things as tooth-fairy, birthday and Halloween money from children. It’s a coping skill. My kids get it. I’m sorry that they have to.

Clearly by the way, BBQ had to have heard us (through his open windows) last Saturday night, walking around our house in the dark, trying to break-in.

Is this not bizarre? Truly, for me, this was the mother of all ironies.

We broke in, by cutting the screen door to the porch with the house key that was no longer of use to us. We slipped a few fingers through the tear and unhinged the latch. Once inside the porch, we removed a screen to an unlocked window. I was elected and with the help of my two kids, climbed through.

It’s befitting that on Mother’s Day I would express how proud I am of the way my kids handled themselves; without panicking and working together to come up with a solution. They’re thinkers and have learned how to appreciate the power of humor in a tight spot. My daughter giggled her way through taking pictures, while my son took great delight in pushing my leg through the window.

For us, the situation was surreal. We laughed our hearts out.

Don’t get me wrong, even though we laughed, smiling about this really is difficult and it’s taking everything I’ve got, NOT to rationalize why I’d like to see the boy next door receive a good old fashioned “butt-kick’n”.

But I won’t go there, here.

Back to the universe. Within a three-week time period, we received news of new robbery attempts, our new dead-bolt went, non-functional and we were forced to break-into our own home.

For me, the message is clear:  It’s time to leave.

And to that end, the wheels (and there are many of them) are all in motion. Slow motion perhaps but in motion none the less. In the meantime, I am grateful for how resilient my children continue to be while the universe continues to play with uncertainty.

To all the other grateful and proud moms out there, Happy Mother’s Day!

  1. pcadams
    May 8, 2011 at 6:53 am

    What a story! Truth is stranger than fiction, as they say…


    • May 8, 2011 at 7:52 am

      ….and that’s not even all of it! Thanks for reading!!


  2. Cindy
    May 8, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    I’m furious with the po po for not connecting the dots. Time for a neighborhood-watch “sting operation” to catch BBQ in the act or an attack dog would do the trick! Sorry for the suffering your family has to endure. Happy Mother’s Day!


  3. May 8, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Cindy, we did catch him in the act, on camera…one day I will write about it and post those pictures!! And yes, the “po-po” were lame about it to say the least….my neighbor does have a dog…..BBQ was tossing a “bone” on their porch to occupy him while he ransacked their house!!! It’s just crazy and time to go. Happy Mother’s Day to you too!!


  4. anita
    May 8, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    I can’t even begin to imagine the hell you’ve all been through. Maybe BBQ can turn his attention to harassing po-po…why can the universe point him in their direction and give you a break? In the meantime, keep writing. Your heart and honesty are inspiring.


    • May 8, 2011 at 10:09 pm

      Ha, Ha…Anita, the BBQ/PoPo reference was very funny. It’s been a week, the locksmith has been to our house 3x and still hasn’t resolved our issue so I have to enter my house by walking past BBQ’s yard while he’s outside tossing a ball….the fun never ends. Thank you for reading and commenting.I have to believe what goes around, comes around.


  5. May 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    I don’t know how you do it Karen. The amount of restraint and discipline not to kick the crap out of that kid is amazing. Wishing you peace and safety.


    • May 8, 2011 at 10:15 pm

      I do it one day at a time Karl, some days better than others. Thank you so much for the good wishes, for reading and commenting.


  6. Bobbie
    May 10, 2011 at 10:11 pm

    Karen, you continue to be my hero through this whole process. I’m sure I wouldn’t be half as brave as you are. Every bit of this story is bizarre.


    • May 11, 2011 at 7:29 am

      Thank you for your support and for reading, Bobbie! I’m searching for the clearing.


  1. May 8, 2011 at 7:04 am
  2. May 15, 2011 at 12:01 am

Your Thoughts Are Welcome!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: