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Boy, Oh Boy!

While it’s absolutely true that a pregnant woman wishes only for a healthy baby at the end of those “joyful” nine months of having your body completely taken over by a foreign being, it is just as absolutely true that pregnancy does weird and inexplicable things to a woman’s way of thinking. Crazy thoughts invade an otherwise rational woman’s mind and have a way of resting there awhile  – at least they did for me, anyway. During the majority of my pregnancy with my first child, I was convinced, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was having a girl. I just knew it. There really wasn’t another option. No further discussion required — thank you. In my mind’s eye, she was going to be just like me. By the time I was rounding out my seventh month, I had her name and future completely mapped out in my head. I fantasized often about the things we would do together; what I would show, teach and tell her. It was a neat little perfect package, wrapped sweetly in pink, frilly, feminine love.

It wasn’t until much too close to the eleventh hour of my due date that panic struck one day while I was trying to picture what my baby girl would look like and imagine her holding my hand, when the truly frightening thought occurred to me…

What if it’s a boy?  A boy??  A boy.

It couldn’t possibly be a boy. I knew nothing about boys –let alone caring for and raising one.  I dismissed the thought, immediately.

What came next of course, was the blessing of a healthy, baby boy whom I instantly fell in love with. In addition to the miracle of birth, there is that instantaneous bond that forms the moment mother and child see each other for the very first time, it’s the bond that creates an unconditional love, forever. That once horrifying “what if” thought evaporated as if it never existed and the focus immediately turned to…

I love you and I will try my best for you — always.

That’s how it was for me anyway. And so, the journey began. Enter Spiderman, Scooby-doo, pirates, dirt and worms in my fridge; fishing camp, building rockets and traps, collecting bugs, catching frogs and conducting experiments. The journey is thirteen years in the making now and includes football, soccer, basketball and baseball too.

Between two kids and three teams, practice and games, I’m either on a baseball or a soccer field three or four times a week these days, not exactly what I envisioned when I first began to fantasize about my children, better for sure and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Besides, a few years after the boy arrived I found myself rounding out my seventh month of a second pregnancy, this time, fantasizing about the brothers that would build an empire. In my mind’s eye, it was a solid little package, neatly wrapped in bold testosterone.

I was certain of it.

Until of course, she appeared, all soft and sweet and smiling-like.

A girl! She was a girl! What on earth would I do with a girl??

Tell me, were you surprised or did you find out what the gender of your child would be?

  1. April 15, 2012 at 9:07 am

    My first child is a girl and was a “surprise” even though we did try to find out with the sonogram. My second is a girl too (no surprise since the sonogram proved to be correct). People sometimes ask me if I wish my wife and I had a boy. As for me, I’m perfectly having girls. As an adoptee, I simply appreciate having a “blood” connection. Girl or boy, it isn’t an issue for me.

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  2. April 15, 2012 at 9:12 am

    Yep. Either way, it’s a blessing.

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  3. April 15, 2012 at 9:19 am

    “Enter Spiderman, Scooby-doo, pirates, dirt and worms in my fridge” these are all things my
    GIRLs do. My oldest even has the phrases “Jinkies” and “we would ahve gotten away with it to if it weren’t for you meddling kids” down. When my 2 yr old comes on from out side you would swear she was chewing her way to the worms.

    We of course, had a differenet path to parentdom but we had 10 days (!) notice to tell us we were parents and a boy or a girl, not the usual 9 months. So we are still mapping out these girls future in our heads. And they are still full of suprises too. Jinkies!

    So you can relax, they also like the ‘Kim Possible’ & ‘the Winx Club’ too.

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  4. April 15, 2012 at 9:23 am

    I know Andy but had no idea my girl would love the “dirt” as much as my boy. It is a beautiful, surprising thing & I am so glad I was prepared for it by the time, SHE came along. Who knew? You have to be a quick study as a parent & no doubt you & your wife are. 10 days….YIKES! It all really comes down to that LOVE thing. Thanks for reading & commenting, Andy.

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  5. anita
    April 15, 2012 at 10:33 am

    Karen, this is a beautiful account.
    I only have one child, a son. I am convinced that I saw him in dreams before he was conceived. Our bond is like no other relationship in my life. It was there before he was born, and I like to believe that he chose to enter this family.. We did all the boy things, but he was never a sports kind of kid. Tai Chi and Northwest Boy Choir were his childhood activities of choice, along with anything to do with dragons, fantesy games, computers and speeding around on skis, bicycles and roller blades. He’s an adult now, and I am delighted to say that we struck up that rare balance of best friend and parent / child. It’s an amazing journey.

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    • April 15, 2012 at 11:04 am

      Thank you for reading & sharing parts of your journey, Anita! 🙂

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  6. singleworkingmomswm
    April 16, 2012 at 1:42 am

    What an awesome post, Karen. I couldn’t wait to hit the ultrasound room when I was pregnant. Due to some pretty severe birth abnormalities that Maycee’s dad had (s) we were given 3-D ultrasounds from early-on, so I knew by the 5th month that Maycee was going to be a girl; I even knew she was going to look a lot like her dad from seeing her so vividly in the womb. Those were some of the best months of my entire life-watching her grow, seeing she was growing “normally”, and then seeing her in true form at birth. Completely and totally amazing. I would’ve loved either-or…but I am grateful since she’s my one and only that we get to enjoy the mommy-daughter thang. 🙂 As for “boyish” traits, she’s a pretty darn good combo, just like her mom was as a child! Just lovely, and adorable pics, too. XOXOXOXO

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    • April 16, 2012 at 7:25 am

      Oh, how I wish you were my neighbor, Kasey! Thanks so much for reading & sharing your comments. xoxox

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  7. Anonymous
    April 16, 2012 at 11:09 am

    l am truly blessed to be the Nanna of these 2 beautiful children, l have enjoyed every moment that l have spent w/them .

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  8. April 16, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    Thanks for reading & commenting, Anonymous!! 🙂

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